Before You Start
Does the other parent agree with your choice? (disagreement creates problems) Are you and the other parent making matching provisions? Have you considered that guardianship only applies if BOTH parents die? Essential Qualities
Does your chosen guardian have:
Genuine willingness to take on the role (have you asked them?) Parenting values similar to yours Emotional capacity to raise additional children Good relationship with your children already Age and health to raise children for years to come Patience and temperament suited to children Practical Considerations
Can they financially support additional children? (your estate may help, but not cover everything) Do they have space in their home, or would they need to move? Where do they live? Would your children need to change schools? Would your children need to move away from friends and extended family? Do they have their own children? How would yours fit in? What's their work situation? Do they have time for more children? Are they in a stable relationship, or single? (both can work) Values and Lifestyle
Do they share your views on education (public/private/religious)? Do they share your religious or cultural values? Do they share your views on discipline and parenting style? Would they maintain relationships with both sides of your family? Do they have similar views on screen time, diet, activities? Would they support your children's existing interests and activities? Relationship Factors
Do your children already know and like this person? Would they maintain connection to your children's current community? Would they keep your memory alive for your children? Can they handle the emotional needs of grieving children? Would they work with your family or shut them out? Your Guardian Options
Your parents — know your family, but consider age and energy levels Siblings — often know your children well, similar family values Close friends — may share your values, but less family connection Godparents — if chosen for this reason, but relationship may have changed Other relatives — aunts, uncles, cousins Co-Guardians
If considering a couple:
Are you appointing them as individuals or as a couple? What happens if they separate or divorce? What if one of them dies? Do both partners genuinely want this responsibility? Children with Special Needs
Additional considerations:
Does the guardian understand your child's specific needs? Can they access appropriate services and support? Do they have experience with your child's condition? Is there a support network in their area? Have you provided for additional financial support through your will or trust? Questions to Discuss With Your Chosen Guardian
Are they genuinely willing? (this is a huge commitment — give them time to think) Does their partner fully support the decision? What's their honest assessment of the challenges? Would they keep your children together or might they need to separate siblings? How would they handle contact with the other side of the family? What would they tell your children about you? Backup Planning
Have you named an alternate guardian? What happens if your first choice can't act when needed? Does your alternate also understand they're the backup? Things to Document
Not legally binding, but helpful guidance for your guardian:
Your children's routines and preferences Medical information and doctors School and activity contacts Important friendships to maintain Family traditions you'd like continued Your wishes for their education How you'd like your memory preserved Any specific concerns or guidance Difficult Situations to Consider
What if a grandparent wants custody but isn't your choice? What if the other parent's family disagrees with your choice? What if your chosen guardian's circumstances change before they're needed? What if your children (especially older ones) want to live with someone else? Red Flags — Reconsider If:
They're hesitant or reluctant when asked Their partner isn't fully supportive They have significant health problems They're already overwhelmed with their own responsibilities Your children don't have a relationship with them They live somewhere your children would be isolated from everyone they know They have very different values about things important to you What's Next?
Once you've chosen a guardian and confirmed they're willing, you can name them in your will.
Want this as a PDF?
Email us at [email protected] and we'll send you a printable version.
This checklist is for guidance only. Guardianship appointments in wills express your wishes but may not be legally binding in all circumstances. Courts ultimately decide based on the child's best interests.
